I can’t count how many times people have asked me to write a book. To which I reply, “I sort of already have.” So here is part of it: that blog I wrote for my family, a fellow adoptee, and a couple friends, as I set off to live in Korea. Circumstances left me few options but to take an opportunity in the land of my birth, and so I found myself heading there at 45 — a lonely, somewhat broken, middle-aged woman.
It was 2009. The year prior I’d never met another Korean adoptee. I’d never entertained visiting the country of my birth or embarking on a birth family search. I’d barely just revealed to my children my childhood abuse. I was grieving the loss of the dance community I’d built, an unrequited love, and other losses. I knew nothing of the culture, the language, the history, or any of the controversy and activism surrounding how I and hundreds of thousands of other Korean children got sent to all corners of the globe. I had woven myself an impenetrable cocoon and never ventured outside its protective shell. I was about as raw as one could be and not be institutionalized. I’d also never written a journal before and, though often awkward, it quickly became my solace, salvation, and — to my surprise — solace for others as well.

A crazy twist in my search, a couple documentaries, activism, art, and far too much introspection threatened to turn me into something I was not comfortable with. At some point, writing for others forced me to think beyond myself, beyond the politics, and beyond identity to something I think is closer to the truth. It was the most harrowing, wonderful thing that could ever happen to a person.
So below is the record of those times – of becoming woke, of being too woke, of going clear, of making peace with what is out of my hands and accepting what I’ve become. I hope you enjoy reading it in it’s now chronological form, (next and previous posts are in red with an arrow at the bottom of each post) in all its glorious honest mess.
Much love,
Suki
- Decisions, decisions
- miracles do happen
- new friends
- ahh, esl education in Korea…
- fatigue
- baybee in the shoebox!
- I kinda have a problem…
- dot dot dot
- birdie
- pacifier – fail
- Supporting Change in Korea, and the cost…
- Another Korean Summer…
- don’t feel like writing
- Adoptee explores food, culture, roots in new PBS cooking series
- a precious Korean princess…made just for you
- Hallucinogenic Orphan Tears
- wet feet
- 5424
- breaking spirit
- How Konglish is born
- We don’t get old, we rust
- water bombs
- happy little clouds
- furry ball of cuteness
- Garden of the morning calm
- Survival Korean 4 U
- school vacations make me want to bash my head in
- At times of upset, some turn to chocolate
- the abyss you love
- bitter pills
- giving my mom a break
- yoh yoh yoh
- easily amused
- 5519
- nothing remarkable happening
- Socialized health care rocks
- my little beast
- Can judgement be color blind? culture indiscriminate?
- Being Swedish is hard
- decomposition
- usher in autumn
- Lazy weekends in Cheongpyeong
- Compassion needn’t traumatize
- Chris is back!
- I can relate
- Harvest time again
- What we care about
- Beacon
- Shhh! Kitty is sleeping…
- Competition
- E-KADS rocks!
- The Korea Bucket List
- Korea changes you
- anarchy and collectivism in the classroom
- A True Story
- Past Lives
- So far to go…
- Don’t you want to fix your face?
- Another National College Entrance Exam goes by, the Korean 수능 tomorrow
- The difference?
- Taking opportunities when they come
- We love ajummas
- Gulpijip 굴피짚
- learning to eat again
- serendipity
- helmet head
- keeping things light
- please stop – your saving is killing us
- It’s all gonna be okay
- SNL Korea rocks!
- A poem by a daughter removed from her mother
- Letting things go
- Two less eyes?
- compulsion
- Meatless in Korea
- What reunions tell us
- landscapes
- grounded
- a year’s not that long, right?
- sign UP!
- The adoptee’s journey
- Moms without partners
- The mother lode
- All of the flavor, none of the fat
- Older adoptees
- Older adoptees Pt.2
- Society’s going to hell
- Two less eyes continued….
- Benny should come to Korea…
- Orientalism
- The title says it all
- Divide and Conquer
- Day of Reckoning
- seams of organic matter
- TPR and immersion
- camptown prostitution
- So close yet so far
- podcast
- Geographies of Kinship needs you
- peasant daughter