So I just got a letter sent to me from my daughter. It’s from my PLUS loan that I took out to help my son get through school. It says I’m about to default. WHAT? I’ve been faithfully paying on-line this entire time! Every month! This is terrible. I can’t even possibly go back to school if I’ve defaulted with the Federal Education lenders. I go on-line and it says I am current. What the hell is happening?
And then it dawns on me. Their left hand doesn’t know what their right hand is doing. I have two PLUS loans with them, and all this time I thought I was paying both together, I was only paying for one of them. After signing up to pay on-line, why does the other loan not show up? Why did they not send me notices prior to being several thousand behind? As far as I knew, I’d made arrangements to pay PLUS on-line, and that’s what I was doing. I mean, you’d think if you have an account with a lender and you go to look up your statement, it would all show, right? Obviously I am an idiot, not knowing how many bills I have, but why would I faithfully pay one and let the other lapse? I feel like a horse kicked me in the stomach.
This after several days of looking at every possible scenario to get me to art school is falling flat. Post-bac. programs do not teach any foundation courses and the Grad school maximum Stafford loan doesn’t even cover the tuition. Private lenders won’t touch me (we’ve tried with my son – I don’t have the income or assets) One good thing is I still have enough remaining on my Undergrad maximum Stafford to fund three years of school at a state school, but for tuition only.
I’m okay with going to school knowing I might not be able to complete a BFA, since the degree is less important than the skills. But I still gotta eat and still gotta sleep somewhere and have enough time to practice those skills.
What was I thinking – I’ve spent my whole life in debt and I can barely live now and I’m soon to have one more loan and taxes due on top of that. We’re at critical mass. I need a second job, not more debt. I only wish all this debt was for something I’d wanted. I only did what I had to do to make the best of things, and not for dreams. Do we really only get one shot at these things? I’ll keep trying to figure out how to make this work, but today I’m very sad.
I very well may be stuck here in Korea for several more years. I just ordered 8 boxes of hair color. I just want to be me.