Post lunchtime in the rose garden at school, Seven Star, Y and I are talking about the Hankyoreh article.
Turns out he once escorted five adoptees to Germany for Holt, as a cheap way to get a flight. And, my article made him think about another adoptee who had contacted him in the past, because someone in his family had relinquished a child. But he wasn’t at liberty to tell the adoptee anything, because the mom wanted it to remain a secret.
Y, who is always feisty about people’s rights being violated, told him that the children have rights too. And I chimed in that I don’t need to mess up anyone’s life. For me, even a small letter with no forwarding address from them would be SOMETHING. If I could just know my own name…Seven Star sort of agreed, but said he felt helpless because it was someone in his family and had to respect their wishes. He said that my family all knows I’m looking for them and is doing the same thing. “Korea is a very small country…”
Today a senior passed me in the hallway and said, “I saw you on YTN!” Yup, that was me…And half the adjummas in Korea watch that show, “I miss that Person” on KBS. And Hankyoreh21 has a distribution of 200,000. So I guess he’s probably right. Whoever my family is, if any of them are still alive, they’re too ashamed to come forward. I asked a few people prior to going on KBS whether I should reveal my abuse or not, and the consensus was that it would have no impact and probably make them want to contact me more. But now I’m not so sure.
I’m tired. Y had to yell at a student today and the former president of Korea committed suicide this weekend. I guess he was a righteous guy and the new guy is the equivalent of Bush, so the mood at school is not a happy one. I stayed up too late last night writing the last two posts, and preparing this week’s lesson plan. I hope when SBS comes tonight I do not have big bags under my eyes and no ability to speak anything intelligible. I hope I am not just an abuse case to sensationalize, and that they actually want to know my opinion. I do these things to save the children, as I don’t see any personal benefit from it. But I must try and milk this moment for all its worth, since tomorrow I will just be another bug amongst the dust under the rug. Then, what will my purpose here be? To learn Korean?