What more could a rustic shoe fetishist want?

So all of you who know me probably remember me walking around the streets of Seattle in Dutch clogs. (and no, this is not common in Seattle) and mile high platforms (and no, this is not common in Seattle) and if I could break into that museum display, I would grab me some of those rubber shoes and wear them too. And don’t get me going about the leather boots!

I went to the International Friends Walk at the Cheonggyechon Stream in Seoul so I could get a pair of jipsin straw shoes, but they were made for feet the size of Kareem Abduhl Jabbar, so not wearable. But damnit, I AM going to learn how to make these and break all convention by actually wearing them.

Now that Korea has proven itself with industry, technology, and development, maybe it’s time to step back and slow-the-fuck-down. Maybe some lo-fi music, some nuevo folk, some home-spun, down-home, all-natural goodness.

Maybe I can start a new trend – away from the status-conscious modern Korean version of dynasty fashion – away from the pop sex toy doll look – and towards something more practical and yet cultural.

Not that I want it to be a post modern gesture, either. No. I mean like raimie and cotton are cool in the summer. Straw is nice to walk on in the summer. Platforms are fun and keep your feet out of the water when it’s raining. Wooden shoes are insulating and super strong. And all of the above can be very very hip. Most cultural artifacts were born of necessity and became commonwealth because they were SMART solutions. Let’s make being natural and smart the hip thing to do.

I was watching channel 17 this morning, since I had it on last night watching some movie from the 60’s, and noticed a link to http://ehistory.korea.kr.

Featured on that site was this film footage of the Danoje festival I will be attending next week.  It’s located in Gangneung, which is very close to where I was born in Wonju, yet closer to the sea.

I wonder if I’ll feel the same there as when I went to the Highland Games in Mt. Vernon, Washington.  Walking around there with my Scottish last name, feeling affection for the culture of my last name, knowing more than the average Joe on the street about Scottish culture, yet always cognizant of the sheer ridiculousness of feeling in any way, shape, or form connected to being Scottish. This is how ludicrous it is to be an Asian adoptee of a western family.

There is this strange nostalgia for dying cultures that clings to me;  a longing to have one of my own that I can keep alive.  It is a false nostalgia:  they aren’t my traditions, they aren’t my memories, even though they should be.  I have been sentenced to being a cultural tourist.  Yet I want to save them anyway.  Because to be empty is to know the value of being full.  And the priviledged who take these things for granted, even though I envy them, I still don’t want anyone to ever feel that kind of loss.

Seven Star jokes that soon I will be an expert on Korean culture and then I will have to teach them.  It’s a funny joke, because he is a history teacher.  But what’s not funny is most Koreans I ask about their culture don’t know much about it.  Maybe this is one aspect of what Tobias Hubinette means when he talks of adoptees comforting an orphaned nation.  There really is so much we can do for each other, Korea and I.

And here’s something for you:

I’ve told you guys I want the unofficial Korean national anthem, Arirang, played on bagpipes at my funeral.  So I found this video for you so you can show the bagpipe player how it sounds!

I think it’s funny and sad and funny and I think it will be perfect and I will be smiling in my grave.

So for this lesson I start by putting the words RPG up on the board.  We talk about what a Role is, and then what fantasy and reality is.  Then I explain that Ego is our real selves, and that Alter Ego is our fantasy selves.  Then I talk about my alter ego, underdog.  And show them this video clip:

I go through the example of describing my Alter Ego with the 5W’s and 1 H and then ask them to do it.

Ahhh, the boys are coming through again!  Here are some of today’s great Alter Egos:

Alter Ego

Who:  God

What:  make many things

Why:  Because I can’t do everything

Where:  Every where

When:  Every time

How:  Any ways

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Alter Ego

Who:  Garfield

What:  a lazy cat…

When:  Whenever there is food, and a place to sleep

Where:  Wherever there is lasagna…even if it’s Monday

Why:  He loves to eat and sleep

How:  by gulping like a pig and sleeping like a log…

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Alter Ego

Who:  my teacher

What:  our classmate have hit

Why:  because our friends break up the rule

Where:  wherever our world

When:  wherever our school

How:  by hitting the head and laughing

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I just want to add that my toy hammer (used on a t.v. commercial) is a smash (no pun intended) success in all the boy classrooms!  The boys think it’s absolutely hilarious and just roar in laughter when I pull it out from my Hello Kitty bag, and with a big grin I take giant steps and sneak up on the sleeping boy and then make a big exaggerated swing.  I hold it up over his head and wait to see if his neighbors wake him up or not.  If they don’t, I gently bring it down on his head.  I made the mistake of letting some of the boys do this (they volunteered, and begged to) and of course they did it too hard, so I don’t allow that anymore.  A couple gentle taps and they are shamed into staying awake.  Everybody loves it!

ahh, this lesson was big fun.  I think I’m breaking through!

Well, since the blow-up and fall-out, Mr. Lee is showing up to every class.

I actually like the old coot in a way.  He’s absolutely worthless in regards to classroom management, but it’s also clear he has great affection for the kids and he smiles a lot.  Often I see him puzzling over the lesson and trying to do it himself.

During testing days, when I am waking up students during the exams (I have personally saved about 30 sleeping students from flunking by gently shaking them and asking, “are you finished?”)  and the other Korean English teachers are just standing around wishing someone would shoot them out of boredom and could care less if the kid stayed up all night studying and fails exam because he fell asleep mid writing, Mr. Lee walks around and also wakes up sleeping students:  only he gives them massages!  Neck and shoulder massages, followed by the Korean thumping with a closed fist.  (kind of like meat tenderizing)  This made me really like Mr. Lee a lot more.

If he keeps up this attendance, by the end of the symester he might have a record of 50:50!

Thinking about papercraneprayers’s comment about being uncomfortable in family photos got me to thinking about my own family photos…

One time, in an art class, the instructor was talking about composition and how people groups almost always form a “circle of love” and she demonstrated how you could overlay a circle connecting them – how hands held, arms entwined, heads positioned towards each other, etc. completed these circles physically drawing out the circle of their relationships.

Thinking about this and papercraneprayer’s comment, I realized then that there is NOT ONE photo of me and my parents in anything resembling a circle of love or even close enough for anything resembling affection.  There aren’t even any photos of me being held.  And people wonder why I have intimacy issues…I mean, come on – look at the lack of circle in this photo!  In every photo I have.  In every photo of my siblings with my parents as well.

And of course the adoptive parents are okay with the skin color difference:  they’re not the odd man out.  But ask the dark little girl in the photo above how she feels about it.  Her answer will be affirmative because her parents are within earshot and she feels fear and obligation, but every cell in her body will be squirming in discomfort.

I wonder if adoption agencies bother to look at people’s family albums?  I bet they don’t.  Would you send a child to a family that has NOT ONE candid photo of fun or affection?  No of course not.  But adoption agencies only look at income, criminal background checks, health records, letters of recommendation, and inadequate social worker home studies.  All of which any psychopath with any skills at all or socially inept and maladjusted person could pass with flying colors.

People have said to me in the past that this fate of mine had nothing to do with adoption – that these things happen in non-adopted families too, that some children are born into bad families and also don’t have any choice, that it is the luck of the draw.

To this I vociferously disagree:  adoption is an opportunity to do better than chance.  A half dozen entities, coordinated by my adoption agency, all were guilty of negligence in their duties.  Adoptive parents are too often just processed and not really screened – and they complain about the hoops they have to jump through.  Well, there aren’t enough hoops.  There isn’t a magnifying glass big enough.  And nobody’s really looking through one anyway.  Not in any meaningful way.

Apart from being sent to a dysfunctional family, just being displaced and forced to assimilate to a totally foreign life took its toll.  “Young Sook is a bright, happy child and makes friend easily.”  (paraphrase from orphanage report)  Note there is no post adoption report.  It would have said, “Leanne is a very shy child that behaves well.”

The real me was crushed.  Something terrible happened.

And it was called international adoption.

Okay, so this is how behind I am blogging – I’m finally getting to teacher’s day, which was May 15th.

At my high school, they have a big ceremony put on by the student body at the same church where they meet every Friday morning.  I almost opted out of it because I figured it would become an oportunity for sermonizing, but I was assured that the entire event was totally run by the kids and not to worry.  I’d never been to the church and didn’t know how to get there, so one of the teachers waited for me and Mr. Oh drove me and a carload full of teachers to the church / convention center.  I say convention center, because it seemed like a small city convention center.  I asked what denomination the church was, and I was told Presbyterian (of course) and that it was the largest church building in all of Korea.  I also asked if our missionary school was Presbyterian, and was told no, but it was the only building nearby which would hold the entire student body, and so they rented it every Friday morning.

Of course my camera batteries crapped out on me again, which really sucks, because I wanted you to see how huge the whole thing was!  And my video camera records everything pink now, and I haven’t had time to troubleshoot it or see if it’s really broken.  Anyway, the kids lead us in church songs, some performances, and the choir performed.  These must be generated from Saturday club activities, as I never see or hear anything like this happening during the school day…Then they had all the teachers get on the stage and the kids sang us the teacher’s song and then there was much cheering, shouting, and applause.  I wanted to get excited, but really my heart was confused, because these were the same kids who call you laughable names in Korean behind your back..Then some appointed student specifically assigned to you comes up and gives you a single red carnation and the student hugs the teacher. I got one from the girls’ classes and one from the boy’s classes.  I didn’t hug either of them, though, as they looked terrified!

Back at school, teachers left and right were getting many visits and gifts, etc.  I also got the same gift box everyone else was getting.  During teacher prep times, various students would walk independently into the teacher’s offices and give individual gifts and sing the teachers songs or bring in cake and treats, balloon cartoon caricatures of the teachers, and give and get hugs.  Often times, alumni students would show up, which was very cool to see the hakseng all grown up, looking like young adults out of uniform.  The kids were all giddy and the teachers did various fun activities with them instead of real lessons.

So it was kind of a weird day for us foreign teachers.  Seeing the children only once a week, we can’t possibly form the depth of relationships the Korean teachers can, and then too there is a gulf of communication because of the language difference, so it’s kind of easy to feel like an outsider, no matter how inclusive everyone is. My lesson that week was a little atypical, though, and I taught it regardless of the holiday.  That was the week I played the Sol Flower song, which they all loved.  I spoke about adoption, showed the kids some of my photographs as a kid, (“So Cute!”  they all said) pointed out how different and awkward I looked in the family photos, and explained how most adoptees, even those who weren’t abused, had photos like that.  I ended up with the photo of me demonstrating and handing out flyers at the Bosingak Bell Tower in Seoul.  Then I asked them that as they became adults and members of society: doctors, lawyers, legislators, voters, moms and dads – to please think about taking care of ALL members of society and make Korean society stronger so no mom has to send their child away for international adoption, to KEEP Korean children IN KOREA.  The kids nodded their heads in agreement.  I hesitated to show them the Hankyoreh cover, but finally did towards the end of the week, which brought out audible gasps and wows like I was famous or something.

So I did get one class card and another class covered the chalkboard with notes, and that effort was really nice.  Not the same measure as for their Korean teachers, but it was a lot considering the small amount of time I have with the kids.  Here are is a selection of some of the notes on my card:

Hi~

My name is Jeong Da Woon

♡ I love you so much~!♡

I’m very good at English

Thank you ~ ♡

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My name is Choi Kyu Eun

Nice to meet you.

I’m fine thank you & you?

Thank you very much.

Have a nice day ~ !!

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btw, I DO NOT teach that standard dialog!

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Oh my god!

You are so pretty ☺

hi, teacher!  my name is Gabin (you know?)

English name is Ann-Shirly ㅋㅋ

Your class is full of fun and brightness.

Teacher is very good.  Thank you

last, I love you ♥ more more

from Gabin

.

I got you under my skin

Kyung hee

.

Because of you

I never stray to far from

the sidewalk

Because of you I find a

hard to trust no only me

but everyone around me

because of you

lips of an angle

love in the ice

TVXQ JJang!!! (I’m TVXQ’s leader JJYH’s wife) ✩

Teacher I love you ~♡

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Hi my name is Ju Jeong

I think you’re so beautiful

I thinkyou’re so sexy

Thank you!

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Hi, teacher!

I’m Kyeong Hwa Lee

I love your class.

It’s very fun and exciting

I’ll study hard from now on.

Thank you very much

I love you and thank you♡

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Hi Teacher!

My name is Youngkyung ♡

I am a goddess ♡

Your class is very fun ㅎㅎ

♡ I love you ♡

Ha!  I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did!