Thursday I went to hear Jane Jeong Trenka speak at the Korean Women’s Development Institute.

First off, it’s really great there’s such a think as a Women’s Development Institute in Korea. Second off, it was kind of amazing none of them had really heard much about the adoption issues Jane spoke of.  Third, it was great they were so receptive, that they were feminists, and that they spoke and thought like academics of the highest caliber.

One part of Jane’s presentation that shocked them the most were the numbers – the U.S. child poverty rates (20.6%) compared to the S. Korean child poverty rates (10.7%), the fact that the CEO of Children’s Home Society (the largest of the adoption agencies allowed to broker adoptions in Korea today) made $190,000 in 2005, that the cost of adopting a child can be anywhere from $15,000 -$50,000, and that the Adoption industry revenue in 2000 in the U.S. was $1.5 billion.

Two things that stuck out for me from Jane’s presentation were – that if you think about the 160,000 (that number is from 2006 and doesn’t include private adoptions or early unrecorded adoptions) to reaching 200,000 children that were adopted out of the country, that equals 400,000 parents and then extended family that probably equals more than a million.  And of those million people, most are silent.  She likened our cause to that of the comfort women, those women who were forced by the Japanese to service them during the last occupation.  Like them, everyone knew about their plight but everyone was too ashamed for doing nothing about it to address the issues, so their stories didn’t see the light of day for decades. And the other thing that stuck out for me was talking about recognizing that these adoption agencies are neo-liberals, privatizing and profiting from what should be a part of a public social welfare system, that the government should take responsibility for.

One quote she read that I liked was from Mapping Multiple Histories of Korean Adoption US-Korea Institute by Kim Park Nelson of Johns Hopkins University

The principles of economic liberalism, notably the encouragement of open access to global free markets for goods and labor, has likewise helped to transform transnational adoption from a small-scale humanitarian intervention to a global industry in which international  enterprises compete for resources and market share.  Configuring consumer choice as a key right of the individual, economic liberalism (especially during and after the 1970s) has not only encouraged the international transfer of children, but has encouraged adoptive parents to approach the adoption process as an act of consumption in which adoption fees are exchanged for the custody of a suitable child.  On a trnasnational scale, this process, sometimes referred to as “globalization,” confers a kind of global citizenship through participation in a global marketplace.

OK.  So that’s obvious to me, but maybe you hadn’t thought of it in those terms, and I thought it was especially well written so I wanted to share that with you.

One of the panelists who was there to ask Jane questions was an academic named Eun Kyung Min, who has done some scholarly analysis of mother loss and exchange in Freudian terms.  Her path to this research was especially interesting and underscored the blackout and denial of Korean society regarding adoption.

Ms. Eun had been studying in the United States with her baby daughter in tow and began to experience a lot of unsolicited attention as people cooed over her adorable Korean baby.  What came as a surprise to Ms. Eun was not the attention, but the sheer frequency and number of references to Korean adoptees these people were connected to, that initiated the contact in the first place.  For Ms. Eun, and probably most Koreans, she had no idea how large the scale of these operations were.  She began to wonder how many adoptees were sent abroad, why they were orphaned, and why had she not heard about any of them while living in Korea all her life?

Also learned Thursday that there is an unwritten quota system going on here:  that the much touted domestic adoptions finally exceeding international adoptions is actually a negligible overtake and is really just a way to keep the naysayers happy and continue to allow at least that many international adoptions.  For every one domestic adoption taking place, they are allowing an international adoption to take place and allowing just slightly more domestic to make it look good.  There is no real plan to eliminate international adoptions as long as this backroom quota agreement with someone (hmm…whom could that be?) is allowed to continue. And so, popular opinion must be turned.

We have our work cut out for us.  It is clear, from all I see and hear, both at this discussion and with my awkward conversations (or lack thereof) and responses (lame excuses) with native Koreans, that Jane’s Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea is an organization whose time has come.  And me, always miss missed the boat, miss too late, is here just in time to help make a difference.

So Friday I gave an interiew to a Korean magazine, next Saturday I am attending an opening art exhibit on returning adoptees, along with the partial pre-screening of Resilience, a documentary movie being made about birthmothers who have reunited and what they have gone through from the beginning to now, and Sunday I help Jane with a giant puppet (a giant birth mother made by a local artist) for a demonstration for Korea’s fourth annual adoption day.

Must find/make a way to participate.  It’s very very important.

Oh, and btw, the incredibly impactful film Adopted, the movie, can now be downloaded for less than $10.00.  This is a MUST see for anyone considering adoption.  It follows one western family about to adopt, and it follows an adult Korean adoptee and her attempts to have a meaningful relationship with her adoptive parents.

ADDED: Adoption day show:  Disbursed and Returned

Okay, so I’ve been doing a terrible job being human and staying out of my bed.

The end result is I fall asleep with all the lights on because they are all the way across the room.  So to save money on the utility bills, I decided I need a lamp.  Only all the lamps at E-mart look all high-tech and crazy, I don’t have the energy to shop all over Seoul for a beautiful lamp, and then I found a cute animal lamp!  For some reason I am stuck on chartreuse or spring green so was disappointed that the only thing left was an orange squirrel or a pink fox.  I tried to buy the floor model, but the salesman wouldn’t let me.

Anyway, I went back a few days later and they had restocked.

What’s awesome is you turn his head to the right, and his head becomes a nightlite

then you turn his head to the left, and his tail becomes a lamp

and his tail can raise or lower.

Ok, so this won’t go with my dream of living in a broke down hanok, but this little guy will brighten my life for the next couple of years.  It’s made in China, but seems to be made well, so hopefully it will last awhile.

I took so many photos at the National Folk Museum that I’m now regretting how long it will take to post them, so I’m just going to post some of them and group them together by categories.  I’ll start with my love of textiles, so I hope you enjoy these as much as I did:

Note the piecework to create.  I find the construction here interesting, because they managed to avoid the joining of non-rectilinear pieces with gussets, as is common in other cultures with handwovens.

I have seen these at the market, and I absolutely MUST get one.  Nuevo hanbok styles are very much in vogue, as is the fur-lined thing in winter.  The modern versions of these are very very chic…

OK. So I’ve read on-line that Korean Fried Chicken is the best fried chicken in the world…

Only, I haven’t been able to get any because it only comes in COUPLES sized orders. Yesterday, walking around Bukchon after going to the Museum of Culture, I found myself in a neighborhood where all the restaurants were closing at 5 pm. And on top of that, the restaurants were up-scale and expensive. So, about to have a food emergency, I went for it – I went for the couples sized order of fried chicken.

The way they fry chicken here is they dip it and fry it twice. So if you’re into the crispy fried batter portion, you’re really going to like fried chicken here. I didn’t get the chicken on the bone, but these cut up pieces, so the meat in mine was a little over-done for my tastes, but this is just one of many fried chicken places. Also, the dish I chose, after being fried twice, is then tossed in a sweet chili sauce that is really yummy. Two boxes of this, one with glaze, one without, a side of white sweetened & brined radish and a pepsi cost me 15,000 won. (almost $12 bucks – yikes!) But it was enough to feed two football players.

I could only eat a small portion of it. Later, in Insadong, I gave the unglazed box of chicken to a homeless man. He seemed kind of grumpy. Maybe it was because I forgot to give him the mustard and sesame salt that went with that. There was just no way I could eat that much fried food by myself…

And, for those of you fried food lovers (David!) You would love one of the street food items you can get. (I’ll try and photo it next time I see it) Basically, it’s a hot dog on a stick that’s been battered and fried. OK. You’ve seen that before. Now, before it’s cooled, completely roll it in french fries and smash them onto the battered hot dog. Then roll that entire thing in batter and fry it again. It’s a crunchy battered fried masterpiece. Very popular with the young boys.

I’ve heard about these “couples t-shirts” but rarely actually see them (I read recently that they are thankfully going out of vogue)

But it doesn’t just stop at t-shirts. You can also buy matching bras & underwear.

Another common occurrence is men carrying their partner’s purses for them.

Every guy I’ve mentioned this to says, “are you sure it’s not their bag?” Because the other guys here all seem hurt and offended that the men here carry “man bags” or dress metro-sexual in any way. Which, coming from Seattle doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me. In fact, I think that in large part there’s no reason for the foreign guys here to feel their masculinity is threatened or to be concerned about Korean men’s masculinity at all.

That’s why I find it so amusing that the guys I’ve talked to haven’t noticed the Korean guys who are carrying their girlfriend’s purses.  I mean, to me THAT is an interesting social phenomenon.  That’s like being owned, or being someone’s lackey, or being a human coat rack or something.  I find it pathetic on the guy’s part and passive aggressive on the women’s part!

I’d like to dispel another thing I’ve read about, and that is that Koreans are against public displays of affection.  I see it all the time everywhere I go.  Or maybe it’s because I’m from Seattle where people are too cool for that, so I just notice it more.  But in general, my impression is that Koreans are MORE physically affectionate than Americans are.  There are always people giving little loving back rubs, best friends arm in arm, couples in some sort of embrace or another.  It is also my impression that Koreans are more playful than Americans.  They seem to constantly be playing pranks on each other or joking around.  A lot of monkeyshines and affectionate teasing goes on.   It’s very warm looking and I think I’m missing out on something.

Another thing you’ll see here is more goo goo eyes.  It’s kind of revolting, but maybe that’s just because we all wish we could be that basic and feel that good about someone.  Maybe the nausea I feel when I see it is actually my external composure trying to violently kill the sappy romantic in me.

Couples rule the day here.  I feel like every Korean on the planet has a boyfriend/girlfriend.  I think you need one just so you can eat something decent at a restaurant.  For instance, there are A LOT of couples in the high school where I teach.  Back when I was in school, that age, there were less than a dozen in my entire school.  Because a person’s got to live with that choice socially for their school career, so a lot of care was taken and a lot of times done in secrecy so as not to be embarrassed.  But the percentage of couples at a very young age seems to be quite high here.

One of the attractive things about fundamentalism (not that it’s worth the price) is that these early relationships seem to be actual relationships and not just based upon sexual desires.  So there’s a lot of young kids here doing couple things together.  They’re living in over-crowded situations, they’re over-scheduled and under intense pressure, and they’re too young to rent a love motel or find any privacy whatsoever.  So they hold hands.  They do nice things for each other.  They meet for wholesome things like going to the movies.  Their vision is very near-sited and it’s comforting.  I wonder how many of these relationships will survive the army conscription and college.

Stuck in a classroom all day with my male co-teacher, Mr. Lee, during mid-term exams, I finally decided to ask him directly (via note since we couldn’t talk) to do his job and at the very least come to one particular class regularly.

Mr. Lee,

Could you do me a favor and always make it to class 1-1?

The boys are lower level in that class, need more time w/the teacher, and are more of a discipline problem because of it.  I can not visit enough desks to hear them speaking English and it would be great if there were two teachers in 1-1.  Maybe together we can raise their level the same as the other classes.

1-1 is the class I really need a co-teacher!

Thank you,

Leanne

Here was Mr. Lee’s response.  (which took him about twenty minutes to write, btw)

I’m sorry that you want to need co-teacher in 1-1 class

I will attend the class next time

They want to learn listening skill…or too quickly. (they don’t understand…

your voice is . . . . .  . . . . . . . .

Absolutely infuriating that I have to ASK this guy to SHOW UP to do his job at all, and then when I do, he tries to use it as an opportunity to blame and criticize.  At least I show up and make an effort to do my job.  What is he doing those 7 hours when he is supposed to be in class? Worthless old piece of shit.

If he shows up, I am going to say this:

Students, please WELCOME MR. LEE to our class. (he has never yet shown up in this particular classroom)

He will be our NEW Co-teacher and will be JOINING US FROM NOW ON.

I’ve a good mind to say that I will be speaking EXTRA SLOW and LOUD so Mr. Lee can understand me…