I was running late and took a taxi to school.  Only to find my office locked and my co-teachers nowhere to be found.  Because of an opening ceremony for the Freshman entering the school, I would have no classes until after lunch.  And so, it was hurry up and wait – to the tune of four hours, which I just sat on a couch and slept because I had nothing to read, no computer connection, and no access to the office or wandered the halls looking into classrooms.

Did get called down with the other new teachers to meet the founders of the school.  The new teachers were nervous for some reason.  One guy translated for me (so nice!  the FIRST TIME anyone has bothered, believe it or not) and the founders thought HE  was the foreign teacher, since they heard him speaking English.

The kids assembled outside and the new teachers went and sat on a podium, but nobody asked me to so I continued to walk around, sleep, repeat from above.  At one point I played hookie and walked around the neighborhood, I was so bored.  My return coincided with lunch and one teacher made a point of eating with me.  He wanted to tell me about his one month in Seattle and how it rained the entire time, and about his two years going to school in Kentucky.  He asked if it was really true my desk was in the Vice Principal’s office, and if it was really true I had children 24 and 25 years old.  The food was great, btw.  Turns out there is a separate cafeteria and menu for the faculty of 90.  “the kids are really mad about that,” he said.  Oh!  Well maybe we should go eat with them once in awhile.  “Impossible,” he said, “it’s too crowded for teachers to join.  Which I took to mean, don’t spoil the good gig we got going on here.

My first class was only moderately okay in my opinion.  I had seen other instructors using microphones, and I had been told there was audio/video equipment.  Because noone had shown me a room prior to me having to teach class, I had to go get random help from the teacher’s room.  Turns out the A/V doesn’t work for mp3’s, and not from Mac’s.  And the microphones I saw are purchased individually by the teachers if they think they need it.  Anyway, the first class was boys and the male co-teacher was not there, so the entire portion of the first day which we had discussed that I wanted him to act as translator for, he wasn’t there.  So I think I spoke totally over the kid’s heads.  And then the last lesson I taught, the boys just refused to work together in groups:  they’d just sit there, waiting for someone else in the group to start doing something.  So irritating.

After that class I spoke with a really friendly teacher for an hour who DING DING DING!!! was actually talking about hospitality and taking me out to eat and helping me out, etc., etc.  How refreshing.  She helped me identity the English teachers in a book, gave me some inside perspective on the school, and availed herself to me in many ways.  “Is it true you have to sit in the Vice Principal’s office?” she asked.  “Oh no!  That is not good.  We call that the ‘hell desk.’  Nobody wants to sit there.”  She told me I had to be strong and fight that decision.  I told her it’s hard to fight when you are forced to have other people talk for you.  She showed me the Vice Principal’s other desk in the teacher’s room, and told me that whenever he was in his office, I should sit there.

Second class seemed a little brighter yet also loathe to do group work.  I presented things a little better to them too, but still I think I will have to ditch my lesson plan and come up with something easier tonight.  These 9th grader’s English is not quite as good as the 8th graders I taught in Thailand.  They are also more hesitant to get up out of their desks or to do anything disorderly.  However, once there is a break from order they seem to have a tendency towards anarchy at that point…I’m kind of disappointed, since I really wanted to share some subtleties of western culture that takes a little more language skills than they have.  I had been hoping for more advanced grades but got freshmen.  Oh well.  Maybe the girls will do better, as is actually typical of foreign language learners.  I’ll prepare a backup lesson just in case…

ONE BRIGHT NOTE was everyone has expressed shock over my age, and I figured they were just humoring me.  But when I wrote my age on the board today (part of the exercise) there were many audible gasps from the room of students.  So YAYY!!!  I actually HAVE aged well, and it’s not just written off that it’s because I’m Asian, like I and everyone else tends to do in the states.  Even the Asian kids think I am much younger than I am.  That just warms this middle aged heart all to pieces…

So these are in the Seoul subway stations. I think they’re to protect against air-borne hazards but, as you can see, there are only about thirty kits in that cabinet and there are probably about 150 waiting to get on the next train…

This is one of those coin-operated crane games. You know, the ones where that grab things you want and you lose all your money because it’s impossible? Only this coin-operated game is outside and the thing you are grabbing is a LIVE CRAB…

Go figure..

kill all the choreographers.

Seriously, it is not my habit to presume to know better than an entire culture and a city of almost 11 million – but for chrissake, the choreographers here suck.  And there’s not one music related anything without coy acting girls and boys doing derivative American dances circa 1980 Paula Abduhl.  Where is the air sickness bag please?

It’s really too bad, because I think Koreans have a lot of singing talent.  I mean, with all the norebangs (karaoke rooms) here it must be everyone’s favorite pasttime.

Means never eating BBQ.  Wah!

Restaurants in these parts tend to specialize in one thing or another, so there are beef restaurants, seafood restaurants, chicken restaurants, etc.  The beef restaurants all have the table grills at them.  The seafood restaurants have those aquariums with really gross creatures out in front, and the chicken restaurants look fried, fried, then fried again – and those serve like 6 pieces minnimum…So that leaves – not much to eat at.

On top of that, there aren’t any English menus and while they do post an occassional picture of the food on the wall, they aren’t on the menu, and the menu has about sixty more items than the three pictures on the wall…

I have avoided the street food simply because the Thai street food left me feeling greasy and catatonic and possibly sitting on the toilet a lot longer than I wanted to.  Yesterday, however, I broke down and had some shishkebob and it was good – except for a little gristle I had to spit out.  It was about 1,200 won so definitely what you want to do if you need some quick, cheap protein.  Most of the street food is fried – french fries, waffles, fried dough, etc.  Either that or fried rice cake on a stick, boiling in stock or duk-bokki, which is rice cake simmering in red pepper sauce.  Well, rice cake doesn’t give me that protein boost I need – so – street food is mostly out.  The waffles, I hear are to die for – but I’ve never been into sweets much.

The other day I bought some laver (oiled, roasted sheets of seaweed) at the grocery store.  I went to buy some sheets of it at the Emart, and a demonstration lady yelled at me that the cut up squares in her cans were better.  So I bought some and she was satisfied.  Turns out I am totally addicted to it.  This particular brand has the perfect amount of oil and salt and it melts in your mouth.   It’s too good to waste wrapping around rice.  It’s like eating buttered popcorn, only better, and better for you – with its trace minerals and green-nutrients.  Did I mention that it melts on your tongue? omg, it is sooooo good!

Surprisingly, I LOVE Korean bread!  At first glance it looks like wonder bread:  It’s light and white and probably totally devoid of any fiber or nutrients.  But something about bread made from that cake-like flour makes it extra good.  If you toast it and put a little butter and jam on it, it’s heaven.  Again, it just melts in your mouth, it’s lighter than air, and toasted it gets the most delicate crusty crunch to it.  Yummy.

Today I splurged and stopped at the local greasy spoon.  It’s one of the few places where single people walk in and eat.  I wanted this potato chicken stew I had at the Koroot adoptee guest house.  So I asked for chiggae (soup) and pointed to the check-off menu (similar to the kind you get at a sushi bar)  and she pointed to one area on the menu.  Then I asked for potato.  “Oh!”  She exclaimed Tay toe!  and ran off and ordered it for me.  The check mark she put on the menu was nowhere near the chiggae section, so I had zero idea what I would get.  Turns out it was thin-sliced beef, stir-fried with onions and cabbage, totally drenched in red pepper sauce.  I looked at the hanguel of the checked item, and in no way did it sound anything like tay toe…note to myself – must learn how to say stew, chicken, and potato…The only other foods I know are the mandu (filled dumplings), kim chee chiggae (soup), bi bim bop (vegetables, meat and egg on top of rice), and kim bap (like a sushi roll)  I’d like to try the other sixty things on their menu, but it will totally be a crap shoot, and the waitresses are in such a hurry, I don’t think I’ll get much of a pronunciation lesson from them, if today is any indication.

Itaewon, where Art showed me around the other day, which is also the Sodom & Gomorrah of Seoul and where the majority of the waygooks (foreigners) hang out has a plethora of restaurants with English menus.  Oh man – I have GOT to go back there and eat!  It’s really cosmopolitan there – you’ll see people from many parts of Africa, East Indians, Turkish, Lebanese, Phillippino, and caucasions from all over the world.  And all the food that goes with it.  There are also “large” sized clothing stores to accommodate them, and places you would recognize in the states, like Hard Rock Cafe, Hooters, etc.  Even an all English book store.  It gets its reputation from all of the many clubs that cater to foreigners and American G.I.’s and the girls who service them and the boys and trannies who also service them.  And there is also a good police presense, due to the fights that break out afterwards.  Most of the clubs in Seoul close down at midnight because most of the girls live with their moms until they are married and have a midnight curfew.  But not in Itaewon.  But that’s by night.  By day, it’s a gastronomic feast and a place to go for the comfort of seeing familiar-looking faces (weird, I know – but caucasian faces are all I’ve known, so it IS comforting.

This is not food related, but my favorite place of all thus far is Hongdai. (don’t know if I’m spelling that right, or if I’ve mentioned it previously)  It’s just full of small kitchy places, boutiques, and alternative culture because it’s at the center of all the major universities.  And the scale is really nice.  Most buildings aren’t more than 6 stories high, and for some reason a lot of the shops have expanded a few feet out into the street, further reducing the scale of the place.  I’d love to live there some day.  It’s just more relaxing and pedestrian, as well as being a little less high fashion and more about lifestyle.

Seriously.  Who needs a stairmaster when you’ve got Korean subways and streets?

Been on my feet for like 24 hours straight it seems.  I must have lost a couple pounds already, just from having to spend (literally) about eight hours *standing on subways, walking to them, transferring, walking from them, repeat from across *  Any of you who have been to Manhattan can relate.   To give you some perspective:  In 1998 Seoul, at 10,323,494 people, had a population density of 75,825 per square mile.  New York, on the other hand, had a population of 2,332,000 people with a population density of 83,286 per square mile.  It’s close to the same, it just goes on and on almost five times more…

I’ve studied so many faces the past two weeks, and I am convinced I have been transported to this surreal Alice in Wonderland kind of mirror world.  For every face in America, there is a doppleganger or parallel counterpart in Korea.  Except in Korea, even the slobs are neat…hard to explain – but – there is no lint on anything black, nobody looks like they slept in their clothes, all the t-shirts look like they’ve been ironed, nothing is faded or old looking, no pants are walked out in the back, nobody smells like body odor, etc., etc., etc.

I see a lot less eye makeup than in the states.  I myself never used the stuff most of my life until just recently, because it’s just too time-consuming to do the perfect job necessary to work around that Epicanthic fold.  Almost none of the teachers at my school seem to wear it.  They might wear liquid eye liner.  They almost all wear lipstick.  Pink shades.  and pink blush.  You do see a lot of those eyelid operations everywhere you go.  Even a lot of older women have it.  Some even make the crease-line darker with brown eye liner.  Maybe I’m a purist, but I still think it looks weird.

And here is something that is no exaggeration – Koreans keep asking ME for directions.  This has happened half a dozen times already!  I’m trying to figure out what it is about me that makes me look like I’d know where to go. So there are a dozen Koreans to ask, but for some reason they come to me.  Is it the TATE brand black teacher coat?  I was told by foreigners (waygooks) on the teacher board that it didn’t matter if I was ethnic Korean or not, my mannerisms would be western and stick out like a sore thumb.  Wrong.  Everyone approaches me like I’ve been here my whole life.  From the checkout girls to the restaurants to – everything.

Speaking of mannerisms, Koreans point with their whole hand – it looks like the same hand you’d put forward to shake hands with someone – and then they do this kind of karate chop in the air – and that is pointing. A lot of times it is with fingers spread.  I must learn to do this for classes.  Fortunately, patting a child on the head is considered a sign of affection, so the Buddist practice of not touching anyone’s head, since it is the seat of the soul, does not apply here.

All the crap I have read about Koreans on EFL teacher boards and on the internet don’t seem to be true:  yes, there are a lot more pencil thin girls, but it is wrong to say Korean girls are all sticks.  Most of them are sturdy, like myself, but the younger ones are just active enough to not carry extra weight, like I used to be. And not all Koreans have flat asses.  On the contrary, I’d say most of them are well padded.  Now, that is not to say they’ve GOT BACK like African Americans do, but it is not fair to characterize them all as having no butts either.   Actually, they come in all shapes and sizes – OF COURSE.  And, even in Korea I am on the small side.  True, they are in general shorter than Americans, but there are some rather tall Koreans as well.  Yes the guys all are carrying “man bags.”  But in no way does this make them unmanly.  They’re just messenger bags of various sizes.  I swear, some of those guys on the EFL boards must be really insecure in their masculinity to criticize such things.  For the most part, the young guys look terrific.  They’re mostly all stylish, clean, and well groomed.  They CARE.  And they are not all metro-sexual or feminine looking, either.  In fact, it’s hard not to molest them when sitting next to them.  Some of the young men and women, but especially the men, are just too cool for school.  Arrogant in their narcissism, trying to and succeeding in exuding attitude.  But the majority of people just seem sweet.  Neither would I agree with the characterization of how rude Koreans are.   Just like in Manhattan, they just seem busy, and there is a constant crush of people, so I don’t know how you are supposed to make your way past them without sometimes having to be pushy.  At the same time, I haven’t seen any evidence that Koreans deserve this reputation I read about of bending over backwards to be hospitable.  Nobody’s invited me over to their house for coffee or dinner.  Nobody’s taken me out to experience their culture.  Nobody’s taken me out for a drink.  In fact, aside from the provisions, I’ve pretty much been left to rot by myself – and that with me being here two weeks early.  So far this jury’s opinion is that Koreans do not deserve the superficial harsh criticism they get, but at the same time they do not deserve the praise they get for making up for these supposed flaws by being the most personally accommodating of the Asian cultures.

One thing I’ll agree with, and that is the food isn’t that spicey.  I DID, however, get overwhelmed by how hot some of the panchan I bought was.  I realized later (with a horrible case of indigestion) that it wasn’t spice heat – but garlic heat.  And that’s why I had the indigestion.  I’ve you’ve ever eaten multiple cloves of really strong raw garlic, you’ll know how it can double you over in no time.

Supposedly kimchee is supposed to be really really good for you, due to its anti-oxidents, vitamins, and because it is probiotic due to the fermentation.  There’s even a kimchee museum in Seoul, and everybody’s all proud of it.  Also supposedly Koreans have the world’s highest rates of stomach cancer, so I don’t know what contributes to that.  I also heard on the radio before I left for Korea that the amount of belly fat a person has is indicative of future health problems ESPECIALLY with Asians, ESPECIALLY regarding cancer.  Okay.  So I better get hot on some belly exercises stat I guess.

The visit to the residential palace of the last dynasty was okay.  The Art museum is within the same compound, so I really enjoyed that.  Just like my favorite tv thus far is file footage or black and white movies from the past, the art really captured a culture one can only imagine.  The landscapes (and I normally hate landscapes) were especially arresting.  Paintings of Seoul in the 50’s show another world.  A world of one and two story houses, winding streets, trees, and the mountains visible from everywhere.  Most everyone still wearing traditional clothing.  It must make the old people here cry, to have witnessed such dramatic changes.  The palace itself is remarkable in how rustic it is, for all its elaborate roof and painted decoration.  Interesting to me was how the entire buildings were like lanterns, with all the walls basically perforated/latticed wood panels.  The layouts were all rectangular, with the corridors behind the panels and the rooms, separated by screens ran the length of the buildings at the center.  An inner panel of solid screen to protect from the winter cold was hinged at the top, hoisted by some chain, and rested upon a bar near the ceiling. The guards, infantry, and musicians all wore various colorful many layered costumes.  I wonder how authentic they were, since they are all held together with velcro fasteners…and their boots had modern soles on them.

The lecture for foreigners I had to attend was somewhat interesting.  They gave us a couple of books – one on the history of Hanguel, the Korean writing system, which truly is a remarkable feat of simplicity and logic, and one a collection of short stories from way back on filial piety, which I look forward to reading.  Learned that when doing the deep head touching the floor bow, for men the left hand covers the right hand which are held at the waist, and the right over the left for women.  Yet for funerals, the hand position is reversed.

Walked around the museum at the exhibits.  The Shilla dynasty was where Buddism was adopted, so most of it consisted of Buddist dieties, statues, and reliqueries.  I found the other exhibits more interesting, since too much of anything gets old.